Monday, July 14, 2008

Monday Mix Tape?

Yeah, that's me, wearing an original "Thriller" jacket worn and autographed by Michael Jackson during his world tour. No, that's not how I spent your donations, I swear. I just needed a picture of myself wearing it. You know, because you never know when you're going to need a picture of yourself looking like a flaming homosexual...

75orLess blog! Kevin from Ohio! The two of you combined put the Swan Fungus blog's first (and only) fundraiser over the lofty goal of $350 in two weeks! Thank you everybody who donated, I think I've mentioned you all by name but just in case I missed anyone...Thank you Stephen, Edgar, Old Man Neil, Jonathan, Nicci, Chris, Evan in KC, Kurt, Lauren, Michael, Sean, Rhodri, John S., Tyler, Nicholas, Alex, Bill, 75orLess, and Kevin! You will all be receiving handsome 'Thank You' boxes (not rigged to explode, either!) in the mail in the coming month or so. Now begins the arduous process of bringing my quirky, uncouth blogging persona to a new medium: the care package. If you thought the personalized Top Ten lists took a while for me to send out, these ones are probably going to take a little while longer. There are twenty one of you glorious donors (although Old Man Neil donated three times: 55 cents, 44 cents and one dollar). So that's 18 boxes that need to be stuffed (like how I stuffed your mother last night!) and sent around the world. Hopefully that extra twenty-five dollars will cover shipping charges.

There are 21 of you. There are 21 songs in today's Sunday Monday Mix Tape. Sorry I couldn't make one last night, I was too busy seeing Stephanie's trumpet skills at The Viper Room, where she brought some clarity and jazziness to an otherwise horrible funk showcase. God, what douchebags the Viper Room draws in. Anyway...I'll leave it to the 21 angelic donors to decide which song on this mix tape best matches their personality. You can make all your bold claims about which song you are in the comments section. I was only consciously trying to match a few of you. I'll give you a hint: Old Man Neil's forty-four cent donation is represented by the 17-second-long Conet Project track. Also, there is a prevailing theme of triumph. Hence all the allusions to "winning".

Sunday Mix Tape 102
We Did It! Great Job!

01. Pelican - Last Day Of Winter - (buy this album)
02. Benoit Pioulard - Sparrowfield
03. Grails - The Deed - (buy this album)
04. This Heat - Triumph - (buy this album)
05. PJ Harvey - Victory - (buy this album)
06. Angel'in Heavy Syrup - Space Conquest
07. Blur - Jubilee - (buy this album)
08. Earth - High Command - (buy this album)
09. The Conet Project - Moscow Coup Attempt - (buy this album)
10. Black Uhuru - Dub You Haffe Dub - (buy this album)
11. Harvey Milk - A Small Turn Of Human Kindness - (buy this album)
12. Nico - All That Is My Own - (buy this album)
13. Yume Bitsu - Team Yume - (buy this album)
14. Lift To Experience - Just As Was Told - (buy this album)
15. Jesu - Lifeline - (buy this album)
16. Oxbow - A Winner Every Time - (buy this album)
17. Rivulets - Win Or Lose - (buy this album)
18. Russian Circles - Death Rides A Horse - (buy this album)
19. Volcano! - $40,000 Plus Interest - (buy this album)
20. Mogwai - Small Children In The Background - (buy this album)
21. Landing - In A Car - (buy this album)

Thank you all, again.

Sunday, July 06, 2008

Son Of Sunday Mix Tape

Chris From Australia! Thank you for your donation you wonderful, special person you! Nicci from down the street! Thank you for your surprise donation, it was completely unnecessary you wonderful, special girlfriend you! That makes for six donations in five days. We've almost reach half of my goal with ten days left to go! Please keep donating, friends. In case you have not heard, my roommates are moving out and taking their turntable with them, and I don't have money to buy a new one plus the new phone/contract I have to buy next week. If you love the music you hear on this page, and want to continue hearing it (that's not a threat, it just means I will not be able to rip weird, rare, vinyl-only releases anymore), you should donate to this page so that I can purchase a new turntable and phone. There is a Paypal link at the top left corner of this page. Or, you can bid on one of my eBay auctions. Or, you can e-mail me and I'll provide you with a mailing address if you want to send a check instead of using Paypal.

Sunday Mix Tape 101
9-1-1 Songs

01. Lee Hazlewood - Come Spend The Morning - (buy this album)
02. Trans Am - 4,738 Regrets - (buy this album)
03. M. Ward - Rollercoaster - (buy this album)
04. Hrsta - Folkways Orange - (buy this album)
05. Thinking Fellers Union Local #282 - Socket - (buy this album)
06. Blind Willie McTell - Dirty Mistreater - (buy this album)
07. Sun Ra - Jet Flight - (buy this album)
08. Friends Of Dean Martinez - Nowhere To Go - (buy this album)
09. Hoover - Distant - (buy this album)
10. Dolly Parton - The Company You Keep
11. Harvey Milk - Red As The Day Is Long - (buy this album)
12. Sons Of Otis - Anti-Nauseant - (buy this album)
13. Art Pepper - Jazz Me Blues - (buy this album)
14. Entrance - Never Afraid - (buy this album)
15. Kraftwerk - Elektrisches Roulette - (buy this album)
16. Tom Ze - Curiosidade - (buy this album)
17. Scott Walker - My Death - (buy this album)
18. The Zombies - She's Coming Home - (buy this album)
19. Mark Hollis - The Gift - (buy this album)
20. Muse - Megalomania - (buy this album)
21. Shannon Wight - Familiar Settings
22. Karen Dalton - Katie Cruel - (buy this album)
23. Mississippi John Hurt - You've Got To Die - (buy this album)
24. Spiritualized - Lay It Down Slow - (buy this album)
25. Tuk - Knokke Zoet

Sunday, June 29, 2008

Hey, Remember My Sunday Mix Tapes? Here's One!


But first, I have to review this week's news!

Hmm...I see...yes, well, that's very interesting ... Oh, I didn't know that was still happening ... You mean they haven't cured it yet? ... I have a difficult time believing his review ... WHy would anybody go see that movie? ... Who owns stock these days? ... Isn't science just the most fascinating ... He's dating her? ... I didn't know that piss-poor country even had a president! ...

Oh shit. I was holding it upside down!

• When I was in the sixth grade, I made a new best friend. His name was Dan, and I thought he was both funny and cool. He called his mom "moochie," which I thought was hilarious. I decided that I would start calling my own mom by a nickname, and I decided I would call her "toots". That's toots as in, "Ey, come over here, toots", not "the tiny train toots its horn". Now everybody has nicknames for their parents. At least, that's what Boston.com says. Kids these days all call their parents by nicknames like, "big Anne", "P-money" and "G-dog". The most inventive I ever got with a nickname was when I nicknamed my father "cheap Jew bastard." Just kidding, he still sends me money sometimes if I'm in a pinch. In fact, I love both my parents very much. Even though they conspired to string me along for the first sixteen years of my life, constantly nurturing me and promising me that their fights were "normal", that they were working through some problems, and that they would never, ever get a divorce. Then they got a divorce. Thanks a lot, toots and cheap Jew bastard! [story]

• A recent survey indicates that the world's top 10 intellectuals are Muslims. Oh yeah? Well, if they're so smart, how come they got caught doing 9/11? Hmm? [story]

• This year's "World's Ugliest Dog" winner is a pedigree Chinese crested dog, which has three legs, one eye, and no hair. Sounds adorable. Gosh, I just want to put him up to my face and blow farts on his belly and rub my nose into his nose like doting dog owners so often do to their own mangy piece of shit pets. When are people going to realize that having a pet is a byproduct of vanity? Owning a pet is all about quelling our desire to feel needed at all times. And people as a whole are so dense they don't realize that those smelly little fuckers don't "love" you, not in their wildest dreams. A dog or a cat will just wag its tales because it wants food or it wants to take a shit. End of story. [story]

• You have most likely seen this by now, but i case you haven't, here is the list of the nine most racist Disney characters. And I had no idea that all these films I enjoyed as a young boy were so filled with outdated stereotypes and somewhat offensive character-types or dialog. I never put it together that the crab in The Little Mermaid was supposed to be a lazy Jamaican, or that the Native Americas in Peter Pan tell children that Indians say "how" because of their thirst for knowledge, and that their skin is red because one time an Indian blushed red when he kissed a girl. It's quite an amazing list. Some of the video links have been removed at the request of Disney, but most still work. [story]

• CNN refuses to lower the bar. Their standards for patently ridiculous "news items" are so high, I cannot fathom their possibly outdoing themselves each time I read a fresh, new article. This week, the most absurd story I read was about how to properly apologize for something. Are you fucking serious? Who do you think reads CNN's website on the Internet, anyway -- four year old kids who have a thirst for world news, but aren't sure how to handle awkward social situations where they must take responsibility for some obtuse transgression? No, CNN's online news media has an audience consisting of mostly older, politically-informed readers. I'm pretty sure most of those people know how to say, "sorry," or at the very (and I mean very because this phrase really annoys me) "my bad". I don't think anybody out there really needs a walkthrough for how to properly apologize. That's the kind of thing where, if you haven't learned it by the age of 20, you're probably retarded and have just been misdiagnosed your entire life of being lazy, stupid, or apathetic. Boy, won't your parents (G-Dog and J-Pops) be embarrassed. [story]

***
Sunday Mix Tape

By the way, can anybody tell me what a "mux tape" is? I keep seeing that phrase referenced all over the Internet, be it on online forums or websites. A quick Google search for "what is a mux tape" responded only with two pages, and the correction "did you mean 'what is a mix tape'?" Add "mux tapes" to the growing list of new Internet nomenclature that I simply do not understand, right below "Twitter", whatever-the-fuck that is. God, I miss the weekly mix tapes. It's always fun trying to find songs by polar opposites like Miles Davis and Oxbow that actually fit together somehow. I know, that's sort of gay, but whatever. Even though I killed the Sunday Mix Tape in an unconscious attempt to sabotage my web traffic, I still love and miss it.

01. Will Oldham - The Risen Lord - (buy this album)
02. The Zombies - Woman - (buy this album)
03. Antibalas - Hilo - (buy this album)
04. Bastro - Decent Skin - (buy this album)
05. Fushitsusha - Just As I Told You
06. Blind Willie McTell - Savannah Mama - (buy this album)
07. Sun Ra - Drop Me Off In Harlem - (buy this album)
08. Polvo - Time Isn't On My Side - (buy this album)
09. Superdrag - Bankrupt Vibration - (buy this album)
10. This Heat - Slither - (buy this album)
11. Virgin Prunes - Down The Memory Lane
12. Townes Van Zandt - No Lonesome Tune - (buy this album)
13. Miles Davis - Dolores - (buy this album)
14. Oxbow - Lucky
15. Low - Way Behind - (buy this album)
16. Terry Riley - G Song
17. Lift To Experience - Falling From Cloud 9 - (buy this album)
18. Lee "Scratch" Perry & The Upsetters - Super Ape - (buy this album)
19. Soft Circle - Moon Oar Sunrise - (buy this album)
20. Charlie Feathers - I've Been Deceived
21. Calexico - The Road Back
22. Jasper TX - Home
23. A Silver Mt. Zion - American Motor Over Smoldered Field - (buy this album)
24. 5ive - Bicycle Rider

Sunday, March 30, 2008

Surprise Sunday Mix Tape!


Surprise, I've made a mix tape for you. And why? Because I love you all. Plus, some of you have been quite loyal readers despite my discontinuing the weekly mix tapes. Also, I don't want to do a lot of work tonight because I'm too busy being nervous about the Mets opening day tomorrow. Apparently Nicci scheduled us to get massages tomorrow after the game, so I'll be sure to have great blogging fodder tomorrow night. I've never had a professional massage before. In fact, I think the only people to ever attempt giving me massages before are Nicci, my exes and that South African counselor who oversaw my age group at overnight camp. Those ones, in hindsight, seem a little weird. Whatever, it's not like he ever touched me in an uncomfortable way...Sorry, I just needed to get that out there, to prevent some smart ass from asking me if the South African man molested me. He didn't...but he was very gentle.

Aaaanyway. Here's your mix tape! Remember the rules? These songs will be removed if desired by the band or those who represent them. Let me know and I will gladly comply. The goal of this endeavor, as always, is to pique your interest in these artists so you'll support the artists and buy their albums.

Oh, before I start. My boss has put his entire collection of Spinal Tap memorabilia up for sale on eBay. It is quite an awesome list. Yours truly photographed the majority of the items for him. All the ones that are pictured at least. My favorite pieces included an actual knob from Nigel's guitar amplifier (customized to go to 11, of course), and the official Spinal Tap calendar -- which is actually a colander. Fucking hilarious. Anyway, spread the word about the Spinal Tap memorabilia eBay auction because I want it to make the front page of eBay's website and I want him to get his asking price for the lot.

Track Listing:
01. Chrome - How Many Years Too Soon - (buy this album)
02. Dennis Wilson - Moonshine - (buy this album)
03. Growing - Cutting, Opening, Swimming Southern Wrights - (buy this album)
04. Hawkwind - Mirror Of Illusion - (buy this album)
05. Abilene - Apache County - (buy this album)
06. Calexico - Sequoia - (self-released)
07. Papa M - Napoleon - (buy this album)
08. Cul de Sac - The Invisible Worm - (buy this album)
09. Tom Waits - Pony - (buy this album)
10. Jack Rose - Flirtin' With The Undertaker - (buy this album)
11. Harvey Milk - The Anvil Will Fall - (buy this album)
12. Archers Of Loaf - Toast - (buy this album)
13. The Jesus Lizard - Zachariah - (buy this album)
14. Earth - Hung From the Moon - (buy this album)
15. Low - So Easy (So Far) - (buy this album)
16. Jackson C. Frank - Milk And Honey - (buy this album)
17. The Zombies - Beechwood Park - (buy this album)
18. Spiritualized - The Ballad Of Richie Lee - (buy this album)
19. Maserati - Show Me The Season - (buy this album)

Thursday, February 14, 2008

Somewhat Sunday Mix Tape!


Yes, you read that right. I've decided to make a little mix tape for you today, valued reader, because I love each one of you so, so much. Thank you for coming here and reading my writing and listening to the music I recommend. I know some of it sucks (the writing and the music) but a lot of you have continued to support the site. So it is with a very full heart that I express my deepest (and most erotic) love for you. Please enjoy the tunes. For old time's sake, here are the "rules" for previous Sunday Mix Tapes, which (if you're new here) used to be a staple of this website back when I gave a shit.

PS - Yeah, I know it's Thursday. Fuck you!

RULES for uninitiated noobs (not that it matters anymore!): With 100MB of webspace, I give birth to a weekly Mix Tape to be deposited on your iPods or Zunes or Kingklangs or whatever the industry is currently pushing on you. Sometimes there will be themes that link all the songs together, other times I'll just throw songs at a wall (not literally) and see what sticks. As always, these songs will be removed if desired by the band or those who represent them. Let me know and I will gladly comply. The goal of this endeavor, as always, is to pique your interest in these artists so you'll support the artists and buy their albums.

Valentines Day Mix Tape - "Love Him, Love Her, Love Yourself"

01. Vetiver - Been So Long - (buy this album)
02. The Makes Nice - As Long As I Can - (buy this album)
03. T. Rex - Is It Love? - (buy this album)
04. Built To Spill - Girl - (buy this album)
05. Lungfish - Love Is Love - (buy this album)
06. Papa M - Beloved Woman - (buy this album)
07. Mark Lanegan - I Love You Little Girl - (buy this album)
08. Oxbow - Pretty Bird - (buy this album)
09. Chris Brokaw - In Love With Yourself - (buy this album)
10. Lee Hazlewood - Heaven Is My Woman's Love - (buy this album)
11. Screamin' Jay Hawkins - Itty Bitty Pretty One
12. Bee Gees - Day Time Girl - (buy this album)
13. Magazine - I Love You You Big Dummy - (buy this album)
14. Teenage Filmstars - Kiss Me
15. Liz Phair - Fuck And Run - (buy this album)
16. Marvin Gaye - Flyin' High (In The Friendly Sky) - (buy this album)
17. Oasis - Slide Away - (buy this album)
18. Superdrag - She Is A Holy Grail - (buy this album)
19. Rocky Votolato - Where We Left Off - (buy this album)
20. Scout Niblett - Boy - (buy this album)
21. Ash - I'd Give You Anything - (buy this album)
22. Space - Female Of The Species - (buy this album)
23. Townes Van Zandt - Be Here To Love Me - (buy this album)
24. Unrest - I Do Believe You Are Blushing - (buy this album)
25. Low - Because You Stood Still - (buy this album)
26. Bonnie 'Prince' Billy - Love Comes To Me - (buy this album)
27. Secret Machines - Breathe - (buy this album)
28. Sun Kil Moon - Lily And Parrots - (buy this album)
29. Swirlies - Two Girls Kissing - (buy this album)
30. Mojave 3 - Trying To Reach You - (buy this album)
31. Volcano! - Fire Fire - (buy this album)
32. Spiritualized - Ladies And Gentlemen We Are Floating In Space [Elvis Version] - (buy this album)
33. The Verve - Butterfly - (buy this album)
34. Blur - To The End - (buy this album)
35. El Perro del Mar - Here Comes That Feeling - (buy this album)

Sunday, January 13, 2008

SUNDAY MIX TAPE - NUMBER 100 - THE LAST ONE

Today marks a very special occasion for this blog, and it could be perceived as a happy thing or a sad thing depending on how you look at it. Tonight will be the final Sunday Mix Tape. I'm stopping at number 100, and in all likelihood there will never be another Mix Tape posted here. Since I started doing this over two years ago, a ton of music blogs (remember: this isn't a music blog, no matter what others say) have followed my lead. Some of them have even stolen my themes! Whatever, I don't give a fuck. I know I was the first.

Instead of having a featured music-related post on a set day and time, I'm going to take between five and ten days each month to post rare or out-of-print albums that have somehow found their way into my record collection or onto hard drive. The inaugural entry (titled "Treasures From The Collector's Slum") was published on Wednesday. For each of these rare albums, I'll post a handful of MP3 and a download link to a reliable file hosting service. For each album, I'll try my best to write a full review. Or maybe I'll just copy a better-written one from some other Internet site. I haven't quite decided yet.

RULES for uninitiated noobs (not that it matters anymore!): With 100MB of webspace, I give birth to a weekly Mix Tape to be deposited on your iPods or Zunes or Kingklangs or whatever the industry is currently pushing on you. Sometimes there will be themes that link all the songs together, other times I'll just throw songs at a wall (not literally) and see what sticks. This being the final Mix, I've said "screw the 100MB max!" and uploaded a whopping 32 tracks for download. Some of these have been featured on prior Mix Tapes, and some have never been used before. I just wanted to make a big collage of many of the bands that have graced this page before. As always, these songs will be removed if desired by the band or those who represent them. Let me know and I will gladly comply. The goal of this endeavor, as always, is to pique your interest in these artists so you'll support the artists and buy their albums.

Sunday Mix Tape Number 100 - "The Last Straw"

01. Neu! - Hallogallo - (buy this album)
02. Hawkwind - Hurry On Sundown - (buy this album)
03. Chris Brokaw - My Confidante - (buy this album)
04. Bjork - Army Of Me - (buy this album)
05. The Zombies - She's Not There - (buy this album)
06. Guided By Voices - Echos Myron - (buy this album)
07. Miles Davis - Blue In Green - (buy this album)
08. Adelaide - Games Without End - (buy this album)
09. The Goslings - Dehiliahia
10. Ativin - When The Sky Turns Clear - (buy this album)
11. Polvo - Thermal Treasure - (buy this album)
12. Can - Father Cannot Yell - (buy this album)
13. Buzzcocks - Orgasm Addict - (buy this album)
14. Cows - Mine - (buy this album)
15. Bill Fay - Garden Song - (buy this album)
16. Earth - An Inquest Concerning Teeth - (buy this album)
17. Screamin' Jay Hawkins - I Put A Spell On You - (buy this album)
18. Jawbox - Savory - (buy this album)
19. Abilene - Fellini - (buy this album)
20. Harvey Milk - Lay My Head Down - (buy this album)
21. Godz - Ruby Red - (buy this album)
22. Tim Buckley - Dream Letter - (buy this album)
23. Philip Cohran - The Minstrel - (buy this album)
24. Nina Simone - I Shall Be Released - (buy this album)
25. Amon Duul II - Luzifers Ghilom - (buy this album)
26. Pink Floyd - Interstellar Overdrive - (buy this album)
27. Howlin' Wolf - Moanin' At Midnight - (buy this album)
28. Slowdive - J's Heaven - (buy this album)
29. The Beta Band - It's Over - (buy this album)
30. Blur - To The End - (buy this album)
31. Sibylle Baier - Give Me A Smile - (buy this album)
32. Entrance - Lookout! - (buy this album)

Sunday, January 06, 2008

SUNDAY MIX TAPE - NUMBER 99


Oh boy, Sunday Mix Tape makes it's triumphant return tonight after it's first week-off in almost two years! Do you know how hard that was for me to do? I did not get any sleep last Sunday. I was sobbing uncontrollably about how I had no new music to share with my readers, and for the first time I felt like I let you all down. Actually, that's not true, I cry every single day because I continually let you down with my complete inability to pen anything remotely worth your time.

Last night was super fun. A nice group of people -- myself included, of course -- went to Elf. We ate and drank and were quite merry. Peaches was there! Vincent Gallo, too! Fuck that guy! He's a tool!

Here's the music!

RULES for uninitiated noobs: With 100MB of webspace, I give birth to a weekly Mix Tape to be deposited on your iPods or Zunes or Kingklangs or whatever the industry is currently pushing on you. Sometimes there will be themes that link all the songs together, other times I'll just throw songs at a wall (not literally) and see what sticks. This week I'm stepping away from the annoying glacier-slow drone music (except for the first track) and the wild psychedelic rock music, and focusing on some electronic and hip-hop. I feel like I only get to share some of my interests with you here, and I don't want you to get the impression that I hate synthesizers and African Americans, because that's definitely not true. I love every genre of music, even the really shitty ones. That's why I put a Belle And Sebastian song on this mix -- because I HATE Belle And Sebastian! So, so much, I can't even describe it. I had to include a Frogs song. Because Belle And Sebastian make the Frogs sound straight. As always, these songs will be removed if desired by the band or those who represent them. Let me know and I will gladly comply. The goal of this endeavor, as always, is to pique your interest in these artists so you'll support the artists and buy their albums.

Sunday Mix Tape Number 99 - "What The Shit?"

01. Moth Electret - Cygal - (Mystery Sea, 2007)
02. The Orb - Little Fluffy Clouds - (buy this album)
03. The Doors - Love Street - (buy this album)
04. Can - One More Night - (buy this album)
05. A Tribe Called Quest - Butter - (buy this album)
06. Loren Connors & Alan Licht - Slowly, Slowly, Slowly - (buy this album)
07. The Dicks - Kill From The Heart - (buy this album)
08. Low - Canada - (buy this album)
09. Portishead - Numb - (buy this album)
10. White Rainbow - banjosmear - (buy this album)
11. Scott Walker - Farmer In The City - (buy this album)
12. GZA - Labels - (buy this album)
13. The Doors - Roadhouse Blues -