On Fast Food

I promised myself last week that I was going to cut out fast food from my diet for the next 365 days. I arrived at the decision almost immediately following a delicious meal at Qdoba last week. Phoebe was there. I left the Mexican Grill feeling disappointed with myself for consuming a 1,000 calorie burrito, an order of chips with salsa, and two large sodas. I’ve only used my membership card eight times this year, which translates to a once-a-month savory splurge, but something about being that full of food which is so unhealthy made me realize that I probably eat too much fast food.

I announced to my roommate the next day that I was no longer going to eat fast food. She laughed and wished me good luck. No more In-N-Out, she asked? I said I guessed not. No more Dominos or Pizza hut, she asked? Definitely no more Pizza Hut, I responded. Then she started asking for my definition of fast food, which I knew was going to spark a debate. She asked if Patra Burger was fast food. I told her “No.” She asked if a place like Chipotle or Sharky’s was fast food. I lamented the fact that Chipotle is definitely fast food, but I informed her that I’d never eaten Sharky’s before. She said we’d have to try it. So, we went for lunch the next day. It was definitely fast food, but it was also pretty good! Oh well, the “No fast food” plan would have to start the next day. Since then I’ve had potentially fast food pizza from a new pizzeria on Sunset in Silverlake and potential Vegan fast food from a new sandwich shop also on Sunset in Silverlake. The pizza place had a waitress but service was quick, and they served their food on paper plates and has plastic utensils. The sandwich shop had a counter where you order your food, but it didn’t feel like fast food.

How the hell do you define “fast food”, anyway? Am I fucking retarded? Is it entirely based upon the time of service? Like, if you order a burger at McDonalds and they turn around and hand you your burger, that’s fast food. But if you have to wait thirty to forty-five minutes for a pizza delivery, is that fast food? Does the fast food label extend to things like whether or not all the food is packaged the same, like in a pizza box or in a burger wrapped in wax paper? Is there a way to eat Mexican food that isn’t rapidly prepared? Does it have to be a stand, or is a place like Chipotle with a very modern interior and seating area also considered fast food? What if there are still waiters and waitresses? Is the Apple Pan fast food? Is Bob’s Big Boy? Answer me, people! What the fuck!

Needless to say, tonight I’ll be going to Qdoba for dinner. But don’t worry, the “No fast food for one year” plan is going to start tomorrow. I swear. I just need to definitively figure out what the hell I’m choosing not to eat before I begin not eating it.