I was hoping today that I would be able to share with you several snippets from the first evening of sound collection with my new in-ear microphones, but I suppose it’s going to have to wait a few more days. There were some weird glitches in the transfer process from MD -> CD-r, so I’ll dump the audio directly to my hard-disk, thus assuring a clean transfer and easy manipulation.
Instead, I guess I’ll waste some time with a quick observational free-association piece. If you like your humor “funny,” feel free to stop reading right now. Just remember to check back tomorrow. I might have something interesting to share! (No I won’t!) I hope the following passage is factually accurate, I’m not going to bother fact-checking it.
Wearing socks around the house is analogous to wearing mops on your feet, or having brooms for legs. I don’t know anyone who has brooms for legs, but I maintain hope that I might meet someone with that specific condition one day. Is it an affliction, or a condition? Isn’t it really a benefit? Whatever it is, I’m optimistic about my chances of meeting someone with brooms for legs. It’s possible. Medical Science has come to the point where mice can grow human ears on their backs, so brooms for legs can’t be too far off in the future. I might go see a band called Brooms For Legs. Speaking of medical science, how come there hasn’t been a Medical Revolution yet? History hasn’t looked kindly on the field of medicine. Medicine is Industry’s ugly cousin, I guess. There has been an Industrial Revolution, and there has been a Sexual Revolution, there was even a Second Industrial Revolution right here in these United States…but no Medical Revolution. I mean, Jonas Salk developed the vaccine for Polio and Alexander Flemming discovered penicillin within maybe twenty years of each other. That’s not enough to rival the push to industrialize or sexualize a nation? Scholarly discussion probably occurs about it, but it’s not ingrained in any schoolbooks I’ve read (and I’ve read…one…two…two.). What is it going to take for historians to give some respect to the medical field? I mean, we even have the ability to turn men into women, and women into men. Talk about progress, right? I’d say that’s impressive. Take some testosterone, or take some hormones–or whatever it is women have that makes them so emotional–see a doctor for a little snip-snip or plump-plump, and voila! Let’s see Andrew Carnegie or John Rockefeller turn a penis into a vagina. They can’t, because they’re dead, but even if they were alive, all they would do is stand in awe of transsexuals. Literally, that’s all they’d do. They’d call up trannies and pay them just to stand there and be gawked at. No sex, just gawking. Okay, it’s probably not all they would do, but what I’m saying is–they’re overvalued from a historical standpoint. Carnegie built a steel company that became one of the most powerful corporations in world history, but didn’t US Steel’s factories also pollute the air and cause illnesses or environmental disharmony? Rockefeller made gazillions of dollars (that’s a real number, look it up) in the oil industry, thus enabling a future in which our country’s reliance on the resource has turned us into one of the greediest and (maybe) most deplorable nations in the modern era. Both industrialists spurred a second industrial revolution! Medicine hasn’t even had one revolution, let alone two. God forbid anyone try to prolong human life! What’s it going to take to convince people that a medical revolution has occurred? Would it take a cure for AIDS or cancer, or a way to prevent blindness, or maybe–just maybe—a way to remove appendages and replace them with everyday objects to make life easier. Like light-bulbs for nipples, or BROOMS FOR LEGS.
Ah, closure.
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