SPRIGHTLY

This weekend wore hard on me. Last night, I was practically comatose. My eyes were bloodshot and twitching. Several people questioned the cause for my haggard appearance. I tried to explain. After the evening in experimentation on Friday, I spent Saturday hiding from the rain until I raced over to my father’s house to ensure the basement was not flooded. The floor was dry, but I noticed the sump pump was recycling every fifteen seconds. Not good. If it continued to flush at that rate, in a matter of hours the battery could die and the basement would fill with water. I rushed to pull everything off the floor and elevate what I could. I ran around the side of the house and saw that the piping was disconnected from the house. I tried to fix it, but the job required a screwdriver. As I stood out in the rain, my father ambled around the side of the house and decided this was a job only he could do. Sadly, the only thing he was capable of was breaking the pipe into three pieces. After a short, loud argument in the pelting rain, he drove to Home Depot while I tried to fix it with my bare hands. It was fruitless. I gouged out a chunk of my finger, and kicked the pipe out. A few seconds later a shot of dirty ground water hit my square in the jaw. Defeated I slunk away and stripped down inside waiting to hear the alarm system sound. Fifteen minutes later, armed with new dry clothes and duct tape, the leak was stopped. Crisis averted. All I wanted to do was curl up (with some tea) and sleep. Then a phone call came and I was commanded to get in my car and drive into the city for drinking. Because I cannot say “no” when placed in these situations, I obliged.

Went to Ginger Man and sat around drinking a pint of Paulaner Hefeweizen and a pint of Newcastle. The phone rang. Ian and his date were saying they didn’t want to come because it was cold and wet. I was silently furious but told them to try harder. They showed up, Ian had one pint of Belhaven and departed as I was mid Young’s Chocolate Stout. Then I pumped a few dollars into the jukebox because the sound system was crackling, silent. I followed this with a pint of Oatmeal Stout and a Paulaner Oktoberfest. Eventually Rachel showed up and ordered an Oktoberfest that I helped her with, despite being wholly inebriated. We talked for a while about Joan Baez and baseball. We left and went to a diner for eggs and fries. I dropped her off at some ungodly hour, and, after turning around on Park Ave. and driving twenty blocks, got pulled over for running a red light supposedly while I was turning on Park. I tried to explain the scenario and what I had done (went from the right lane turned left and then executed a u-turn). I said, “If there was a No U-Turn sign that I didn’t see, I’m sorry… but I pulled over to let someone off and then just turned around, the light was green.” He said the north/south light was green, but the east/west one was red. Not sure how exactly this works… but he kept telling me I was “flying” down Park and I was lucky he didn’t write me up for that. I didn’t have time to argue, I was still a bit out of it and growing tired by the second. I got home at close to 5. Out $200 and feeling like shit.

Yesterday I had Sam’s birthday party. I drove down to central Jersey and showed up at he and Lindsey’s house. We along with some other folks went to a movie and then out for Indian food. I had a blast, but I don’t think I should’ve been out all day. By the time we got back to their place after dinner I was already half asleep. The drive home sucked. I was ready to go to sleep when Meredith called and invited me over. We sat in her kitchen and I opined about my current station in life and being frustrated about a variety of things. I think I bored her to sleep.

But, that’s life. Snakes on a Plane.