MIRTH

somebody commented on my top ten embarrassing moments the other day, and as i reread the list i realized i left off possibly the most embarrassing moment ever in my life. all the nostalgia i was feeling must have momentarily blinded me, for this is a classic story.

i was driving through marada, arizona with matt and adrienne. we were returning from a few days in vegas and i was handling the last leg of the drive into tucson. suddenly, the hood of matt’s car came loose. i feared that any moment it might pop open, so i pulled over to the shoulder. we got out of the car and inspected it, and as matt slammed the hood back in place i decided that i needed to relieve myself. i opened the front and rear passenger-side doors to create a little booth where no one could see me. i dropped my pants, took my cock in my hands, and began to piss. matt and adrienne both thought this was hysterical and went to reach for a camera to capture this moment. during all the excitement, i neglected to notice that there was a service road running parallel to the interstate, and a police car had parked directly in front of us about ten feet away. the officer leaned out the passenger side window of his patrol car and screamed “YOU!” with his fiery eyes locked on me.

i didn’t even notice my hand was still wrapped firmly around my cock.

“YOU! WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU’RE DOING?”

i released my cock, let it dangle between my legs for a few seconds, and then pulled my pants up. the cop had already slammed his door shut and made his way towards the fence that separated the highway from the service road. we made our way toward the officer to explain what he had witnessed. he asked what my name was and asked me if i wanted to go to jail for indecency. i thought about lying, but honestly, he caught me with my hand around my cock laughing maniacally on the side of a public area. he asked for my license, asked what if it would “delay my travel plans” if he threw me in jail. i told him what he wanted to hear, and he disappeared into his car with my license and those of matt and adrienne. he eventually reemerged from his vehicle to ask several more questions about the vehicle and where we were going before we discussed the matter at hand (pun intended). apparently his inclination was to arrest me, and had i not been planning on flying home in less than twenty-four hours, he would have. he told me “the next time you need to take care of business, you get off at an exit.” i apologized, still acting like i was deeply ashamed, and he walked back to his vehicle.

we laughed about it the entire ride back to tucson, and matt demanded that when i wrote the story down i had to use the line, “the cop was staring down the business end of my cock,” but i couldn’t figure out a way to make it fit.